|
| If you have insomnia on a Saturday night, you know something is wrong. Or maybe I'm just going through a 'low' again. As a friend said before, when you anticipate and prepare for it, then it's not so bad. Can't be at a all time high always. I agree.
Went dress shopping with the Brides to be yesterday. Didn't think it would bring out a set of unexpected feelings for me. And went bra-shopping? What was I thinking. Argh
I really would like to fall asleep. so tired
| | |
| There is a bundle of sadness I am feeling right now for no reason. wth? It's not that work is not going well, or that there is any negative events triggering this feeling.
Watching the American Idol All Stars. So much drama - so addictive to watch haha they're all getting a make over. yes it's hard to get over such a change, but these are professionals doing your look, so c'mon have some faith. if you have confidence i'm sure u can work it Confidence is so sexy . Act like you own it.
I am the only female working in the office. It's actually starting to feel weird. The office is reaaaaaly quiet. With just 7 of us full time and one who travels back and forth, the office is dead quiet. Especially this week with the PM away, did i mention it's QUIET? It's almost so uncomfortable I have to make noise. Close the drawer loudly, type loudly, walk loudly etc Anyway
And I am starting to not like living alone. It's really lonely. I haven't felt this before. Because ... frankly i liked my alone time. It feels different this time. Like really different.
Damn computer. Gotta restart for some updates. brb
OK where was i. I dunno this white chocolate is good. Oh right I was saying ... how all this dating is really doing me no good. It is especially hard when everyone tries to tell me what they think. I love all my friends, but sometimes I just have to do what my heart tells me to do. period. i don't live no life of theirs, i live my own. when i come home i am me, not them. what matters to me may not matter to them. So yes, i think I took the advice too seriously. A concern became something dramatic and I did something that was not true to myself. there is no such thing as "you should do it" just because it's how everyone does it. Even if I felt like they were right, I just wasn't ready to take that step. I should have done what I thought was right and shouldn't have "forced" it.
ark what's this sadness i'm feeling F | | |
| how did i end up here 1:54am in the morning? I have been rolling on my bed since 11:40pm. noooooooooo I want sleep. I miss sleep. Why is my sleeping patterns so messed up lately?
OK. So.
I honestly just feel like I have an identity that doesn't belong anywhere. Some ppl may say, if you don't like it, whatever "it" may be, change it! I don't know if I can changemy personality. argh, so tired.
| | |
| The lack of planning bothers me. If you are going to do it in many many stages, I will not make them all. And I do want to be there for your happy moments. Please plan better.
On a side note, I got two paper cut on my right hand dealing with some paperwork today. Stupid contract! and it wasn't even the originals that cut me. Damn you, copies of the original.
So. I am too emotional. I get too emotionally involved in the early stage. Where is the on and off button? Act like you don't care.
Or do I? I do.
...sigh
I was speaking to a friend on the phone. His number is really long, and because I don't have his number saved on my phone, it seems like the number is different every time. Anyway he was telling me not to limit my options. After I told him the deal's mine to lose. He's right. I think this game is to know your battling field, who you are up against, your resources, and a level headed mind. Never allow yourself to get cornered under any circumstances. (easy to say, hard to do) It applies to all things.
Very choppy thoughts tonight
On the other hand, don't really have any appetite as this moment . kinda sleepy too . wish that I had a tub that would fit my whole body. legs are too long
Who, honestly, has over 600 friends on fb? Either you are really well connected, or you add absolutely anyone and everyone. But he seems so genuine. And knowledgeable. But . I may be playing this league a level too high.
To continue my choppy ranting, tomorrow is tues, and xmas eve is this Sat. I have been so busy last week and the week before, with some surprising news, that I have not had time to reflect. And guess what, it's good for me not to. Overthink overthink think thinking too much. It's getting lonely.
| | |
| IN flow,
goals are clear
challenge is not too hard, is not too easy
autonomous
engaged
the urge to master something new and engaging
-Must do and can do
- When what they must do exceeds their capabilities, the result is anxiety
When what they must do falls short of their capabilities, the result is boredom.
essence of flow finds the middle ground
flow is essential to mastery
flow - moment
mastery unfolds over months, years, decades
intelligence is something you can increase? "incremental theory" - intelligence as something like strength? Ability is malleable, so working harder is a way to get better.
this theory leads to mastery. entity theorists want to look like masters without expending the effort to attain mastery.
Performance goals (getting A) vs Learning goal (applying textbook concepts to real life)
hard work / perseverance/ "grit" may be as essential as talent to high accomplishment . Mastery is a pain. It's about working hard and showing little improvements. slightly higher plateau, grueling, mastery is a pain.
Effort is one of the things that gives meaning to life. impoverished existence if u don't value things and commit urself working towards them.
Mastery is something u can approach, get really really close, but never touch it.
Deprived of flow,
restlessness, feeling keyed up
easily fatigued
difficulty concentrating/ going blank
irritability
muscle tension
sleep problems
sPEND 20% of time with a purpose - aspect of your job that s most meaningful to u
Where is your true source of intrinsic motivation?
At the end of each day ask yourself: did you do more? did you do it well? did you learn "specific goal"?
Look for measures of improvement. Don't need to be flawless each day.
Was i better today than yesterday?
Deliberate practice. repeat. critical feedback. where u need help. prepared to be mentally & physically exhausting.
| | |
|
